Most of the time you know you want to actively participate in something other than getting to work everyday, working through the day (sometimes interesting - other times not), and going home. You know you are meant for something more lasting, you are even involved in a lot of do-good projects, but somehow, that feeling of complete involvement in an ideal life isn't truly yours. You aren't there. Given that lack of ownership and the prison of the present, the quest for meaning takes on a more desparate tack. Even if you are there, the vagaries of your surrounding elements often make you want to throw in the towel. Occasionally, however, if you empty your mind of everything that matters little to nothing to you and work down a list of things that you do consider important, your heart and gut will jump when you come across the one true thing that envelops your whole being. It brings tears to your eyes, a song to your heart, and a bright new light to your soul. And that one thing is worth it all. I rediscovered my one gem this morning during a day-dreaming ... I mean, meditation session. My soul spoke thus:
There are some important things that just need to be done. It doesn't matter that the establishment or bureaucracy attempts to impede you into being non-chalant and passive and to go with the flow. If it is valuable enough to lose sleep over, you have got to do something about it and NOW. You will get tired, the bastards will wear you down, and the temptation to walk away will arise on more than one occasion ... it is this apathy we need to destroy for the progress that is rightfully ours.
We wait for heroes to sublimate our woes and rescue us to higher ground. In so doing, we forget the hero in us. That only we can rescue ourselves. I am John Galt. I am my own messiah. If I don't do it, someone else will have lived my life. That is not why I am here.
When we understand this, we grasp our responsibility towards ourselves, our communities, and our children. This makes us so big and so small all at once. We are powerful creatures of passion who love, create and destroy, yet life will continue after we are gone. To that rise and fall, that stasis and process, we owe so much. To ourselves, we owe so much. With every breath, every thought, every word, every step, every single last decision, we take in the past and move forward. This we must do with purpose. There's a lot more to life than even meets the mind's eye.